A St. Valentine’s Day Card on the Occasion of Women’s March Against Connubial Corruption.
A Valentine Day Message should be brief, so I must plead for
understanding for this departure from the norm. In any case, I deplore
the slavish adoption of foreign saints of whatever shade, color, or
religious persuasion. However, the coincidence of dates for women’s
intervention in yet another egregious conspiracy to drain the Nigerian
treasury, mounted in the name of a high-flying member of your gender,
strikes me as a call to break the mould and submit myself to the call of Saint Valentine.
A Yoruba proverb goes thus: Ti a ba ma a j’opolo, ka je eyi to
l’eyin. (If one must eat a toad, then go for an egg-bloated one). If I
must send a Valentine card for the first time in my life, then let me do
so on a grand scale. I have therefore elected not to lend my affection
to any one individual, but the entire bevy of First Ladies
of the African continent – and that includes First Male Spouses. What,
after all, is to stop these male consorts from developing ‘pet projects’
and setting up Missions? Even if they number no more than one or two,
there is a saying that goes: What is sauce for the goose is also sauce
for the gander.
A mind-boggling fiscal misappropriation – Four Billion Naira, no
less! - is being attempted in your names – openly, in an attempt to
institutionalize an illegality through a debasement of the democratic
process. It is no longer secretive but in-your-face, and damn public
opinion! Your names have been invoked as the ultimate beneficiaries,
and thus, you are vicariously implicated. In the name of St.
Valentine and the love I bear for you all, please dissociate yourself
from this display of shameless avarice. I shall not go so far as to ask
you to denounce what you probably know nothing about, but if you ever
get to hear of it, distance yourselves from the gross impropriety. I
implore you in the name of all local equivalents of St. Valentine:
continue to serve humanity within and outside your borders, but without
self-interest. Assist this nation in crushing the increasing acquisitive
impudence of individuals and institutions that do not exist in our
constitution, yet insist on fattening on national resources.
The enthronement of vulgar preening and opportunistic consumption is
complicating the battle of a principled minority on critical social
issues. It gets in the way of sanitizing society, and has become an
expensive distraction. When you visit in your personal and/or
professional capacities, or as consorts to your spouses, we would love
to love you, respect and honor you. It will be painful to watch you
dodging a rain of rotten eggs and tomatoes in place of flower petals and
bouquets. There is no such thing as an African First Ladies Mission in
the Nigerian appropriation list. Any claim remotely like it is the
conspiracy of sycophants, jobbers, masters of impunity, a desperate
clique that unfurls a continental umbrella as cover for private
aggrandizement. Please, do not be a part of it. The people of this
nation are fast losing patience.
Yours in unstinting love, this St. Valentine’s Day of Two Thousand and Thirteen,
WOLE SOYINKA (A Public Service Retiree)
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