THE RULERS ALSO CHEAT : Cheating first ladies, more than meets a roving eye ... AfricaReview

Swaziland's King Mswati III with his wife Mswati Nothando Dube now under house arrest over infidelity allegations. Photo/ AFP  

News about the alleged sex scandal involving Swazi King Mswati III twelfth wife, Nothando Dube, with the country’s Justice Minister, Ndumiso Mamba, has hit the headlines across the world.

As it now stands, Mamba is now cooling his heels in the Big Bend Prison while the queen has been put under house arrest in a royal palace at Ludzidzini in Mbabane.

Despite all the hype, “LaDube”, as she is famously known in Swaziland, is not alone in this. In 2004, two of Mswati’s wives — Delisa Magwaza (LaMagwaza) and Putsoana Hwala (LaHwala) left the royal kraal following infidelity allegations.

Steamy affair

Next door in South Africa, is another nation that has had its fair share of sex scandals too! Apart from President Zuma’s love of skirts, his second wife Nompumelelo Ntuli Zuma reportedly had a steamy affair with her bodyguard Phinda Thomo, who later on committed suicide.

This however did not land anybody in jail like the Swazi’s case since the president’s family downplayed it to “protect Zuma’s image”.

A few years back, in the same country, Winnie Madikizela Mandela also allegedly had an affair with Dali Mpofu, her deputy in the African National Congress (ANC) social welfare department, something that partly contributed to her widely publicised divorce.

This string of infidelities in the south of the continent cannot be complete without mentioning Zambia’s former first lady Vera Chiluba. She was accused of having had a romantic relationship with a prominent businessperson, Archie Mactribouy, leading to her divorce.

This is all a surprising trend! In the yester years, it was the male folk who stole the limelight courtesy of their roving eyes. However, this has since changed with gender roles being redefined in various societies. Women are now turning the tables as far as extra marital affairs are concerned.

Marital beds

For so long, men have been allowed to acquire mistresses and run parallel affairs with no consequences save for risk of acquiring Sexually Transmitted Infections. Now we are seeing that the women are following suit.

The interesting bit is that these women are not looking for money or luxurious lifestyle, this time round; the ones on the spot are financially endowed.

This leads us to question why these high profile women are straying so far from their marital beds.

In her book Women’s Infidelity, Michelle Langley captures escapism as one of the reasons as to why women cheat. This comes when there are frequent fights forcing the woman to run away from their shaky marriages.

She goes on to say that many wives find their marriage plain and boring. The excitement of the love seems to fade in the marriage so a woman will move out to look for an alternative lover.

When the nights become too lonely and cold

Pastor Roger Morrison from Trinidad who specialises in Family life in the Seventh Day Adventist church argues that in some instances the wives have been marginalised and are out to seek "affirmation" through alternative means.

He adds that most marriages are "arrangements" of convenience...for "political or economic reasons" leading to sexual revolution among women arising to challenge the monotonous structure of daily life where men use sexual powers to control family.

Zainab Clarkson, a Siera Leonean who is the Vice President of Change the Perception on Africa (a political movement group) could not agree more, she observes that male ego plays a role in these high profile scandals as politicians try to dictate every single detail about their wives.

“As they are the so-called "heads" at home, they do not consider women’s advice or opinion this makes women feel worthless,” she told the Africa Review.

Some men especially on the political front leave their families back home for weeks or more at a time. In this case seeking intimacy in unwise places can happen when the nights become too lonely and cold.

Notorious womanisers

There is also a common belief that women are forced to stray since their husbands are notorious womanisers...they are virtually denied their conjugal rights and could starve for several months at times. This betrayed woman will therefore start sniffing other men to get even or the much attention they miss.

We can try to apply these theories to the Royal Swazi sex scandal. Besides his political commitments, King Mswati has 13 wives; one may wonder what sort of an arrangement he has made to ensure all of them are emotionally catered for.

Being human, it may take him several weeks or even months to fulfil his marital obligations. Perhaps this could mean LaDube was sexually starved and had to look for options, the same may apply to Ntuli Zuma.

Various human rights groups hold that King Mswati should not punish the wife or the erring minister since he created this mess. They assert that he has hidden his infidelity under the mask of polygamy.
With the changing infidelity patterns in the continent putting more women on the limelight, one may quip that LaDube and her crew should not be brought to their knees over extra marital affairs since there is more to it than just a roving eye.